Failing the bar exam
Failure is almost guaranteed in life; if you have made the decision to be great then you must fail. With that understanding I will take the bar exam one more time, while I have not gotten my NJ bar results, I have recently failed the Pennsylvania February 2009 bar exam, and I am quite sure that my New Jersey results will mirror Pennsylvania.
When I first checked the website I was stunned, I had failed NY last July, and now another one, and maybe another one. I hated that I went to law school, what was a dream then, seems like such a nightmare now. Sallie Mae is breathing down my neck, it seems my colleagues have gone on to progress in their careers and I am already for behind, now I will be two maybe three years behind. I am probably clinically depressed, but I remain hopeful.
I remain hopeful because maybe I don’t have a choice, but there is something inside me that says it comes from something greater. I have had to struggle my whole life, and I wear my achievements as a badge of courage, when I finally pass the bar exam, it too will be an accomplishment that took courage and perseverance. It will mean that when humiliation and failure were most apparent I was able to win.
I begin this new portion of my blog because it will be therapeutic for me, and I hope that someone learns from my pain, and maybe shoot me some emails about their struggle to become an attorney.
